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Introduction

Hey!! Welcome to the Mental Health Section.

I will start by talking about my own journey in Mental Health: Caution= This section is not for the fainthearted or the sensitive . It contains graphic topics.

I remember when I was a young child, I was innocent, happy, and extroverted. My life wasn’t too complicated, except for the fact that I was constantly surrounded by violence, toxic energy, and fighting

By the time I was 11, I started to change. My outlook, My thoughts, and My perspective all made a 180 degree turn to the south pole of negativity. I had moved to another country, couldn’t make friends easily, and didn’t have the support of anyone around me, especially my parents. My inner voice would constantly put me down, telling me I wasn’t enough or important.

I was lonely, and isolated, suppressing everything inside my little heart.

Depression started manifesting its poison inside me, making it impossible for me to rise to the surface of the overpowering ocean drowning me continuously.

Anxiety started growing as a crooked tree in my soul, its roots growing deeper and deeper in me.

I developed social anxiety, where i could hardly speak to anyone. I would cry almost everyday, my thoughts killing me, controlling me. Making me believe that I couldn’t escape from reality. Little did I know that its me that creates my own reality.

When I was a teenager, I started the art of self-harming. It felt like a way to release all of what was inside of me. It helped me numb the piercing knife stuck in my heart. It felt good to bleed. I hated myself. I blamed myself for everything that happened to me, for the way my class treated me, the way my parents treated me, and the way life treated me. I despised everything about me, my body, personality, looks, brain etc. Why couldn’t I be like the popular girls? Why couldn’t everyone adore me? I started starving myself, so I could be pretty like them. I struggled with anorexia for a time as well.

I was depressed for 6 years. I spent my entire teenage years with depression, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and anxiety. I felt trapped and wanted an escape, anything that could take me away from reality.

I don’t remember when, but I started to disassociate. I would just check out from the world, and be in my head, the only safe place for me to stay in. It became so frequent, that that was all I could do. I couldn’t even come back to reality. Everything around me felt like a dream. My dreams felt more real than reality itself. I felt like a zombie, like someone who couldn’t get of an everlasting prison.

I was seventeen and I had reached the peak of depression and anxiety. I was known as the lone wolf at school, the mental case, the emotional wreck, the psycho etc. etc. I had scars all over my arms and legs, and I would sit alone in my puddle of despair.

I went back to the USA for college, and it didn’t get any better. I tried to kill myself multiple times and started doing extremely reckless, impulsive, and self- destructive behavior.

I came back to Nepal, where my parents live, and started studying nursing here. I started getting therapy and I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I was taking a large dosage of anti- depressants, as well as routinely seeing a psychotherapist.

My outlook of the world was bleak. I didn’t see or have any hope. Everything around me seemed dead. I was dead.

I slowly started getting better. It’s still a journey, But I’ve learned that I am in control of my own thoughts. Thoughts lead to emotions that lead to behavior, which repeats as a cycle. I started doing research on self- love, meditation, rewiring the brain, and other methods to help me. It was hard at the start, but every day it getting easier and easier.

Now I am much more optimistic on life, I have a passion to learn and grow, and I want to help others who might be going through the same thing that I did. It’s a journey, but its worth every step of the process to become a whole person inside. I’ve learned to love myself, know my worth, and become more whole as a person through the healing process.

In this blog feed, I will be addressing different topics like depression, anxiety, suicide, meditation, self-love, anorexia, brain health, rewiring the brain and other fascinating topics.

I hope you enjoy!!!

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My First Blog Post

Health of the Body

“Don’t dig your grave with your own knife and fork”
— Unknown

Hey! This is my first blog post. My name is Jane and I am a nursing student living in the country of Nepal. I have a passion for health and nutrition and would like to share this passion with you. This first blog post is about my journey with health and nutrition.

I have moved to many places around the world like, The USA and Nepal. Ever since I have been a child, my diet has changed throughout and I have recently had a deep insight about my health.

I realized that health isn’t just physical, but mental, spiritual, and emotional as well. I realized that my health wasn’t good in any of these areas, and that my body was screaming, letting me know that my health was deteriorating.

The Factors for my terrible health was a high stress environment, a poor diet, and a negative thinking pattern. I needed to change these aspects of my life. We have control of our lives and the situations we are in. We control how we react and feel to the things happening around us. I realized I had a victim mindset. I would blame everything and everyone around me for the consequences that would occur, but it’s me that has control of my life and my choices. It took a while, but one day I decided to change myself for good.

In early 2019, I started smoking, drinking, eating a lot of junk food, not exercising, and just living negatively all around. At one point I was smoking, drinking apple cider vinegar, kombucha, and eating spicy food everyday. This literally destroyed the whole lining of my gut, causing extreme gastritis (inflammation of the stomach), and GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease, a disease where acid rises in the esophagus, eroding its lining which causes extreme pain and discomfort).

I started nursing school in August of 2019, and when I would go to practicals at the hospital, my body would ache so much when I would walk. For about 2 months, I would have trouble sleeping at night because of acid rising in my throat, causing a burning and nauseated sensation. Every time, I would eat, I felt like vomiting and my stomach would cramp. I was constantly bloated, and I had gained a lot of weight. It got to a point where I was bedridden for many days. I finally went to the doctor, and I got the results to my blood test, showing that I had a high cholesterol level in my blood, which is a risk factor to heart disease, and a high uric acid level, which could cause gout (a disease that causes the joints of the body to inflame and swell, causing extreme pain when walking). The Doctor said I was overweight (borderline obese), and that I would develop an ulcer if I don’t change my diet. This was a turning point for me in my life, as I realized if I didn’t change my lifestyle, I would be at risk for many diseases.

For weeks I started researching about health, fitness, and weight loss. I wanted to change, I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I knew this would be for the best. This was a lifestyle change. A permanent change. Yeah, I had been on many diets before, but this was different. This would be forever.

I had to calculate different things to figure out my goals. The doctor told me I had to lose 16 kgs (35 pounds). I weighed myself and I was 86 kgs (190 pounds). I calculated my BMI (Body mass index), which was 30. Thirty! I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was borderline obese. (There are links at the bottom to calculate your BMI). I had to change. I had to change!

I found out that the easiest way to loose weight was by eating a calorie deficient. That means eating less calories than you would normally eat in order to cause your body to use the stored energy already in it. In a day I would normally eat 2200 calories to maintain my weight. So, 1 pound of weight= 3500 calories. If I eat 500 less calories a day in my diet, then that would mean I would lose about 1 pound a week!

That wasn’t all though. Even if you just eat less calories, you still won’t be able to lose a proper amount of weight unless you eat proper nutrition. Most of the foods I would eat were mostly sugary, meaty and carby. Those foods actually signal your body to store fat and not burn it. I found out that the best types of diet are nutrient dense diets. This means diets that have a high amount of nutrients in them. The trick is that these diets have a low number of calories, because the food is mostly plant based food. Plant based food are very low in calories and contains a high amount of nutrients. I found that the best type of diet for me was the flexitarian diet. This diet is mainly fruits, vegetables and nuts, with a tiny amount of protein from animals (low fatty meats like chicken and fish). I needed protein, but I would mainly have to get it from plants.

I looked up different, simple, and easy recipes for my new diet plan. It’s hard to get certain foods and ingredients in Nepal, as its a third world country, so I had to plan accordingly.

I started my diet on the 5th of January and it has been about 3 weeks since.

In the next few blogs I will talk about my results, exercise plan, diet plans, and recipes. I will also address types of diets and their benefits, and different types of health.

Thank you for reading my journey!! I hope this inspires you to change your lifestyle for the better!! Until next time…..

Here are the links to calculate BMI and Calorie Deficient:

https://www.verywellhealth.com/calorie-density-1763873

https://www.calculator.net › fitness & health

Dealing With a Break Up

Hey guys!

So today I will be talking about breakups…..

Ugh!!!! Those are the worstttt!!!!!

So recently,

My ex dumped me (tear, tear)

And it has been super duper hard.

I spent a week trying to convince him to get back with me, (desperate),

But then I realized that he wanted to go, and that it truly was not me, it was him and his own choice. I realized that it had nothing to do with me being a bad person, or not being a good enough person, But it was his own choice to not choose me. And that’s okay!!

People change, and when hard times come, they either stay or leave, and that’s okay.

I realized that I have no power of the situation, but I do have power over me.

It was the worst few weeks of my life!

We were together for almost a year.

I thought we were gonna get married (we did plan this).

I thought he was my future.

But then, I get betrayed!!!! Within is span of a month, I saw him emotionally distancing himself from me, and cutting me off! He told me he would rather be single than put up with my toxic bullshit.

I realized he was just finding any excuse to not be with me, because if he really did want this, he would’ve stayed and fought for me.

This relationship did teach me a lot of things, and I am grateful for him, and all he did for me, but now he’s gone, and I must accept that.

He hurt me, I hurt him, but he was not willing to forgive me, and that was his choice.

What was up to me though, was to either forgive him and move forward, or stay stuck in the past and hate him.

So, I chose to start the process of moving forward. Yayyyyy!!!!!

I did not want to stay in the past, because moving forward is the best thing for us as humans.

The first thing I did, was feel every emotion every time it came. One second, I would remember those happy memories of us, and then boom!, it would hit me, the sadness of his absence. I would cry and cry and cry.

I learned to accept the fact that he was gone. It hurt me like a thousand knives in my body. But facing the pain, is the best way to move forward.

I took a week to myself, and I would just sit in bed and watch tv shows and binge on snacks (not healthy), but it helped to get it off my mind. I also had strong urges to hurt myself and to chain smoke. (I smoked two packets in less than two days.)

Then I started talking to my friends and telling them about it! I have really good friends that helped talk It through, and helped me process the whole situation.

I realized that I was unhealthily attached to my ex. I felt like I could not live without him.

It was killing me that he put a wall between us and suddenly left. I felt my whole world was shaken.

I contacted my therapist, and he helped me this things through. I was in a high emotional state and all I could think of was contacting my ex, and begging him to come back.

My therapist helped me realize, that what I was doing was an act of my emotional state, and that I do not actually need him. Yes, I love him, But he chose to not be with me. The best thing for me to do was move forward, without him.

My therapist taught me that I need to become whole in myself. I was holding on to my ex in an unhealthy way, not accepting him gone. I would need to learn how to be stable in myself, so that no matter what happened around me, it wouldn’t crash my whole world down, because my world would be stable inside.

It’s important to focus on yourself during this time of moving forward.

I started practicing mindfulness, and would do it every night before sleeping.

This helped me to stay more present in the moment, rather than looking back in the past.

I also acknowledged and observed every thought of him, without reacting or impulsively acting on it. Every time he would come in my head, instead of trying to force myself to not think of him, I sat back and observed it and then it went on its own.

Now the thought of him comes, but it hardly makes me want to hurt myself, or to cry, or anything of the matter.

I also deleted every memory of him. I deleted all of the photos, I blocked him everywhere, and I removed any thing that would bring him up.

I would think of him, and then I would let him go in my mind. The pain would arise at the start, but then eventually, it started to go.

I started living for myself. I wrote more, exercised, ate food that I liked, and talked to my friends. I learned to live without him.

Here is a summarization of what I learned.

The most important things to do in a breakup is to:

1: Remove anything that reminds you of them.

2: Accept what happened.

3: Feel every emotion that comes, and let it go.

4: Forgive what they did, and forgive yourself.

5: Meditate.

6: Do things that will help you to love yourself, and that will make you happy.

I understand that it’s a very hard time for people going through a breakup. For me, it felt like the world was ending. It’s a part of life, and instead of holding a grudge and hardening your heart, learn to accept the past, forgive, and learn from what it taught you.

You will get through this, and I encourage you to take one day at a time!

Cheers!!

One month:

Hey guys!

It’s been a month since I’ve been on this diet.

Honestly, it has been a bit of a struggle. I would constantly be hard on myself, because I wasn’t getting the results that i wanted.

I realised that it took me years to get this unhealthy, so it will take some time to get back on track. Being hard on yourself will never help, as it will cause hopelessness and unmotivate you to carry on with this lifestyle change.

So far I am 83 kgs!! That’s a big achievement! I am 3 kgs down in a month.

I have been eating really health most of the days. Sometimes I eat a little bit of extra carbs or a dessert, because that’s okay!

It’s good to treat yourself and to enjoy the foods you love! Giving it up completely can cause cravings and could lead to a binge…

Moderation is always key, and having the right amount of portions are essential for weight loss.

Dieticians have said that small frequent meals throughout the day are great for boosting your metabolism, helping in weight loss.

According to nutritionists, a good portion for each meal is this: 1 first of fruits or veggies, a cupped hand of carbohydrates, 1 palm of protein and 1 thumb of fats.

I will provide a sample meal: Lunch

1 Fist= mixed steamed veggies. (Pumpkin, zucchini, and broccoli)

1 cupped hand= quinoa

1 palm= baked Chicken

1 thumb= olive oil

This is a very nutritious and wholesome meal, leaving you full and feeling healthy.

I hope you guys feel encouraged by this blog. I write this blog to unravel my health journey and to help encourage and motivate others to do the same.

Losing weight has proved to be so beneficial, as it reduces the risk to so many chronic and harmful diseases.

What you put inside your body, will affect how it functions and how it runs.

Scientists have discovered that if you eat or do something toxic, it actually changes the way your DNA replicates, changing the way your body runs in a negative way!

If you input good things inside, amazing things will come outside.

Thanks guys for reading this!

Until next time! Please subscribe!

ALSO: I would love if you guys could comment some healthy, easy recipes that you eat.

A Few Weeks Later….

So I know that the first blog and this one are only a few hours difference of posting, but I wanted to share the results of my new lifestyle change during the past few weeks.

I started the diet on January 5th, eating mostly plant based foods, and small portions of meat. I have had little to no sugar, and I try my best to only eat natural sugar. I can’t eat any red meat and a lot of protein due to my high uric acid levels so I am only eating eggs and chicken.

Two and a half weeks since I’ve been eating like this, I have lost 2.5 kgs (about 5.5 pounds). I also have been doing a calorie deficient and intermittent fasting.

Intermittent fasting is when you fast from any foods and drinks (except plain coffee, tea, and water), for a number of hours, and only eat food in a certain amount of time. I am fasting from 6pm-10am everyday. This raises your bodies metabolism and causes the body to burn stored energy in the body as fuel, causing weight loss.

As for exercising, I haven’t been doing much, as it hurts my joints when I over do it. I’ve mainly been going on light walks and doing ab workouts. I have started working out more this week, and will slowly build it up week by week.

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